When BARTHOLOMEW BUNDT receives a new house for Christmas, he's overjoyed. The timing couldn't be more perfect, thanks to a certain crazy frog and his explosive appetite for monster pizza. But when Bartholomew realizes that his new house is built near reactor four in the old Chernobyl nuclear power plant, his skin begins to crawl.

Of course, that's not the only thing crawling around there.

"Hello?" his voice echoes through the cruel Siberian night. "Eh... It's probably just the neighbors again." He scratches his behind and walks back inside. "You know, I really should have them over for dinner." He smirks and goes back to bed.

Certainly before they have him for dinner...

Approximately 14,000 words. Intended for children 13 and up. Descriptions of my other popular children's books are included after the main feature (an additional 5 pages).